The hubs and I met back when we were in middle school; yes this is a small town story… I was smack dab in the middle of my rebellious streak and he was totally not the “bad boy” image I was into at the time. I kept putting him off until one day I said “I’ll go out with him for like a week and then I will break up with him, then he will leave me alone.” the term “going out” meant you held the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend with the occasional make-out session and a freelance hand or two… That week turned into the whole summer and continued into our freshman year in high school. Then early in our sophomore year, I surprised him with… “I am moving to Texas in 7 days”.
I hadn’t even told my mom yet that I was moving. I was throwing a teenage temper tantrum and decided that if I wasn’t going to get what I wanted with my mom then I would move in with my dad. My dad gave me 7 days to pack my stuff and get on a plane. I had just made the dance team; not because I could dance or even had rhythm, because I completely suck at those things, everyone that tried out made the team. I avoided a couple of fights in school because I was able to portray a bad ass chick whom other chicks didn’t want to mess with. I was just finding my niche in high school and I had an awesome boy friend that treated me with respect, and there I was telling him that I was leaving.
After I moved we kept in contact, we wrote letters and saved up our allowances for long distance phone cards dear Lord I just revealed my age… but unfortunately distance took its toll and eventually we sort of just lost touch. I moved a couple more times after that, life happened and carried on. I am such an awesome girl friend, aren’t I? I often visited that small town because I had family and friends there; but I hadn’t seen or heard from my respectful ex-boyfriend in over two years. I had thought about him often and wondered how he was doing and what he was up to. I realized I’d compared other relationships I was in to the one I had with him.
We both graduated high school and were both fresh, new adults when I spontaneously decided to call him up to say “hey”. By spontaneously, I mean hours of conversations with my BFF who convinced me I should reach out to him and then one day she just so happens to track down his number for me. Isn’t my BFF the bestest? So I finally decided to call him, that was January 4th 2004; we’ve been talking ever since. I am totally beaming right now because I am so blessed and lucky to have this love story!
This is not however, when I realized I was IN LOVE; that didn’t happen until a couple of years later…
My BFF and I were driving down the highway in my mustang convertible, where we were coming from or where we were going, I do not know; but I was driving. The previous sentence of information is very important, mainly the part where I am driving… I don’t know what we were talking about or how the thought came to me, all I know is… I realized I was IN LOVE with the boyfriend. Like, REALLY IN LOVE! I had relationships before where I thought I was in love; I thought I knew what love was. I watch tons of movies… mainly Pixar films though... In that moment of realization, I froze in complete shock, fear, happiness, thrill, a mix of emotions. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, all I could do was retreat… into a full-blown panic attack! Remember, I am driving down the highway, going 70+ mph… my hands retreated from the stirring wheel, my feet off the gas pedal and floor board, as I try to curl up into a ball, I started gasping for air and rolled down the windows… my poor BFF, (you know the one sitting in the passenger seat) she is the one that helped bring my love and I back together and this is how I repay her… As my car decreased speed and slowly drifted to the right, life started coming back to me and I heard a faint, muffled noise until it was shouting at me; literally shouting at me “Alisha! you’re supposed to be driving!! PULL OVER! PULL OVER! WE”RE GONNA DIE!”
Thankfully we didn’t…
Not long after my realization of in love, the boyfriend and I moved in together. That’s a funny story for another time… A few years after that we got married, and five years later we built a house and started our family.
Love is beautiful and funny and distant and deep in your bones and hard and ever growing. It requires a lot of work and patience and compromise and understanding. But most of all love is as scary as riding in the passenger seat of a convertible while the driver is having panick attack… but it’s so wonderful.
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